Valentine's Day is Satan's Birthday
by Crystallyn
Summary: OneShot Slash slightimplied incest It's Valentine's day, and girls are confessing right and left. To add to the annoyance, Sasuke also has to deal with Naruto, Itachi, and Orochimaru. COMPLETE.


Sasuke was leaning against a tree, sitting in the shade and relaxing. He didn't hear them come, didn't even hear a blade of grass getting crushed by those shoes.

"Sasuke-kun! I want you to accept this!" Sasuke opened his eyes to see Sakura. She was standing in front of him, here eyes closed, head bowed and arms thrust forward. In her hands, she held a heart shaped box, complete with ribbon, bow, and card. Sasuke stared at it for was while, as if it had come from outer space. Sakura opened one eye to peek at him before quickly closing it shut.

"Sasuke… I-I… I LOVE YOU!" She blurted out before loosing courage. Sasuke blinked at her, then gently stood up. He started walking away, unbeknowst to Sakura. You could say he was going for a stroll, or that he just remembered he left a kunai a while's back. But in actuality… he was running away. He kept walking, trying to keep his cool… before he ran into Ino. She looked up at him coyly, a faint blush coloring her cheeks.

"Sasuke… I-I just wanted to tell you something."

_Oh shit! She wants to confess too! I can feel it, she's going to say it!_

"Sasuke… I… I… I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" His eyes widened as he stumbled back a couple steps. Only to bump into another blushing female. Before she could confess, he sprinted away, only serving to fall into a pit that a couple of girls had dug and hidden earlier.

"SASUKE I LOVE YOU!" Sasuke jumped out and started to jump from tree branch to tree branch. For a split second, he turned around to see if any of the girls from before were following him. He ran straight into a warm body, arms wrapping around him and bringing him closer to a chest he knew DEFINITELY belonged to a male.

"Ah, my adorable little brother! How I've missed you so! And by fate's hands, we have been runited on this day celebrating couple's love's for each other! Come! And we shall frolick in the meadow and make sweet love to each other!" Sasuke pushed him away screaming.

"WHAT THE HELL!" While falling off the tree branch and to the hard ground. Or so he'd wished. Instead, the god's were going to have some fun torturing him.

"My love! We meet again! And this predestined meeting on the day for lover's is surely a sign from the god's above!" Sasuke had landed in Orochimaru's arms, and was currently being held bridal style while the evil villain gushed on and on about how they were meant for each other.

"Come Sasuke! I shall take you to a meadow, and we shall have hot, passionate sex!"

Itachi had come down from the branch to find his precious Sasuke. Only to find him being held bridal style by Orochimaru. Itachi snatch his brother away and glared at Orochimaru.

"Sasuke is mine you pedo!" He shouted befoe pulling Sasuke into a deep kiss… which was abruptly shortened when Orochimaru snatched Sasuke back, glaring hard at Itachi.

"Sasuke is mine, you incestuous pervert!" He hissed before pulling Sasuke into a deep kiss… which was abruptly shortened when Itachi grabbed an arm and started pulling his brother back to him. Sasuke was off in his own little world, put into shock after being kissed by his brother and his enemy. But his catatonic state was cut short when his ears picked up what the two older men wanted to do him… in the privacy of the meadow… and without the restrictions of clothes… _DEAR GOD!! MY VIRGIN EARS!!_

Sasuke pulled away from them and ran far away. He ended up near Naruto's house. Sasuke bumped into the fox.

"Ne, Sasuke… Can I tell you something?"

"Whatever." Naruto leaned in for a chaste kiss, before pulling away, blushing like mad. Sasuke was shocked.

"Valentine's day is Satan's Birthday." He muttered, before leaning in for another kiss.

-THE END-

So what did ya think? Love it? Hate it? Wish it'd spontaneously combust?

Push that pretty purple button and let me hear all about it!!

I was laughing my ass off while writing that whole tid bit that Itachi and Orochimaru said while holding Sasuke. The whole going off to a meadow and having sex. shakes head

I thought they had more control then that. Though I would give anything to see Sasuke's face.

I absolutely hate Sasuke… but I love Naruto x Sasuke pairings…. I have a conflicting mind… oh well.

-REVIEW-

You know you want to


End file.
